The people that do, will. The people that don't, can't.

Good day everyone! Have you ever felt like there is something more you should be doing with your life but you don't really have a direction that you are sure you should follow? I have. I have that thought everyday. Some days I feel like I should be a painter or maybe a writer or possibly a counselor. I have so many ideas but I lack the persistence to be successful at any of them. I get board easily. I want to be successful but there always seems to be a but...But I don't know how to paint, but what if nobody reads what I have wrote, but what if being a counselor is not what God wants me to do?....But, But, But....What I have come to realize is that as long as I keep making excuses I will never achieve anything. The people that do, will and the people that won't, can't. I don't know what the future holds for me, I do know that I have a future and as long as I seek guidance from my heavenly father there is no such thing as failure. I know that once I figure out what my purpose is I won't have to worry about clarity or motivation because I will be given the drive to accomplish what it is I was meant to do. We aren't born with the answer, we seek it and we find it. Patients and prayer are the key. Knock and the door will be opened. Ask, Believe and Receive...

Don't be condemned;be Convicted

Lord God heal them. Heal the sick and suffering. I believe in you Lord God. I have seen and felt your miracles. I am living proof that you can  remove the disease of addiction from our minds and bodies. My heart hurts for those who have tried to make it so many times, I don't know what to do for them. I know the reason you Healed me was because I believed that you would. I know that you gave me the willingness to have an open-mind. I know that you gave me the courage to be honest. I know that I am better because of you. Glory be to you Father...I praise you Lord Jesus....I praise you Holy Spirit, I praise you Heavenly Father. Open the hearts of the ones reading this, help them to soften their hearts to you, help them learn to let you in and rely on you. I believe in you Heavenly Father...In Jesus Name, Amen.

One of the hardest things I have faced since I have be in recovery is to see the people that I have come to care about, in the program, not know how to stay in recovery. I know that I can only say so much and there is only little I can do to help someone find their path in life. But I offer prayer for them, I know that where the flesh fails, God does not. I didn't always know this though. I was once too, a skeptic. I used the Name of God in vein without even realizing it. It was a natural response for me. I did have a spiritual awakening, but only after I had no other option but to reach up. God does not use the "perfect" person for testimony. If he would have decided to do it that way I don't believe any of us would ever overcome anything. We need "leaders" that have a testimony of trials and tribulations because we all have them and we need to be able to relate and not compare. What would happen if the disciples would have been perfect? If they were not murderers and thief's? If they did not lack Faith ? If they were not dysfunctional and emotionally unstable? If they were indeed perfect? We would have nothing to relate to. We would compare ourselves to them and continue to believe that we are unworthy of God's Love. In turn we would continue on destructive paths because what would the point be to try to live as Jesus lived? We would never measure up to any of those people. But because God used those who had sinned, we too can know that there is a way out. There is a way to overcome. And there is a way to escape the grasps of evil. We can be saved, even when we are at our worst. God loves us. There is no condemnation, only conviction. Be convicted, realize your mistakes, admit them and then move on walking a better path. Do not let yourself be condemned...condemnation says you are not worth saving, that for you there is no hope. Don't let that be your legacy. Be a light of Hope and Inspiration, be love and compassion, be courageous and brave. Do the next right thing...and above all else Pray to the God of your understanding, if you don't have one, you can borrow mine...He's big enough for all of us. He will listen and He will answer.
                           
                                                                             ✞ ☮ Richelle ☮ ✞

Something a little different

I had a conversation with someone dear to me that had concerns about how much information I was posting about myself and my experiences. He brought up some good points and made me start to think about my blog a little differently. I do want to share my story because I hope that the testimony I have could be inspirational to many people who are struggling with addiction and with living with people who have an addiction. However I am realizing that maybe it’s not so much about sharing what has happened to me as is it important for people to know that there is a way out, there is a new way to live, for everyone involved with the struggle. This disease is taking over our world and I want to make a difference. I want people to feel the freedom I feel when your honestly in recovery, I want people to learn that nothing is impossible with God on your side. So I am going to try something a little differently. Maybe the best way to help is to know what people are struggling with, and try to offer some direction. Now, I don’t have a degree in psychology and I am not a counselor…but I do have 17 years of living a life of bad choices and addiction. I now know how I affected people around me and I know how it feels to be an addict. I also know how it feels to be a grateful recovering addict and how it feels to have a relationship with a God of my understanding. There is nothing better…there is no chemical induced feeling that will last as long as recovery. The only thing that is guaranteed when you are in active use is hurting the people who love you, going to jail, being institutionalized, or worse…death. So I am interested in helping any way I can. What are you struggling with?? Do you have to let people go that you have had in your life for years, because you choose recovery? Do you need encouragement? Are you searching for a way out, but have no idea where to start? Do you just want to share the joy of recovery with me? Even if you don’t want a response and just need someone to listen to you, let me know. Anything….any response is welcome, any questions are welcome. I have an email address attached if you choose to talk to me in private. I will never use your name but I may use your question. You never know what you ask that someone may be too afraid to ask because they feel like they may be judged. There is no judgment here. I leave that to God. It’s not my place and never will be. So whatever it is…whatever you need help with; let me try to help you. If don’t think I can relate, that’s okay. Maybe I can’t but I know how it feels to be ashamed and isolated. I understand the feelings of confusion, anger, helplessness, sadness, and doubt. But I also know how it feels to be courageous, loved, happy, and free. I think the majority of us do, but when you’re coming out of an addiction you experience feelings that you repressed for so long so they do not feel normal, when in reality they are. It’s difficult, but anything worth having is not easy…if it was everyone would live in a perfect world. We all know that perfection is a fairytale, but that doesn’t mean we can’t be inspired to live a better life. We have to fight for our life, the way we fought for our addiction. I can promise that I will be honest and empathetic, but I will not make excuses for you. The first step to anything is accepting our part in the situation. If you think you might be ready to fight for your life send me your questions and comments. I am ready when you are, but don’t wait too long. You never know what tomorrow holds and you never know if you’ll get another chance.

May God Bless You and Keep You….Forever.

                                                                     ☮Richelle☮

New Eyes;New Life

My life was in turmoil a little less than a year ago. The devil had worked his way into my veins and taken complete control of my life. I was addicted to heroin. I was lost and searching for a way out. My soul was black with guilt and isolation. I no longer had a sense of direction. I was in jail and I was alone. I was in full blown withdrawl from the drug. My grave had been dug and I was lying in it waiting to be buried, But just as the first shovels full of dirt were thrown on me, something amazing happened...I hit my knees and I prayed. I didn't even know if I was doing it right. I just talked to Him and told Him that I was out of options, that I surrendered to his will and I needed help to let go of my lifestyle and the people in it. I prayed for Him to heal me, to take my sickness away, I asked him to forgive me, even though I didn't know how to forgive myself. I begged Him to help me. I sobbed because I was so sick and I felt so guilty and I knew that if He didn't help me, nobody could.
I was not aware that anything happened at first, an angel didn't come out of the sky and say "Your healed and there will be no more trouble for you in your future"! But something did happen. The next day, when I had to start facing the consequences of my choices and the dirt continued to be thrown on me, rather than letting it bury me, I had the strength to push it below me and use it to climb away from the grips of everything that was not God. I made a commitment to myself and to God that I was never going to go back to that life again. God had answered my prayer. He gave me strength and hope. I was given another chance to live. He loved me when I couldn't even love myself, He believed in me when nobody else did. So I leaned on Him and I made him my co-dependant. I decided that I had to believe in something or I wouldn't believe in anything. I let go of everything else...I mean everything. My husband, my aqaintances, I had been evicted from the place I had lived while in jail so I didn't have anywhere to go when I was release. I cringed because I didn't know what I was going to do. I thought about a discipleship program through teen challenge but that was a little much for me to swallow. So I prayed about it. I prayed that God would give me somewhere safe to go, somewhere I could get my life in order; away from everyone. A couple days later an older woman was brought into the jail. We got to talking and she told me about this place called the Serenity House, a sober living facility. I needed to fill out an application for admittance, I had to have two months clean and I had to be in a treatment program. They did weekly drug tests and I would have accountability if I were able to go there. I didn't even think about it. I put a request in immediately to my probation officer and asked for an application. I figure that by the time I was released from jail I would have exactly two months clean, part of my probabation terms was to complete out patient drug counseling at a treatment facility, so that was covered. I sent the application out with a letter telling them about everything I had done and what I was facing. I told them that I needed help and I didn't have anywhere else to turn. I told them that I had been in and out of jail for the last 5 months because I kept relapsing. I didn't hear anything from them for the next two months. I stayed in an anxious state almost the whole time. I was released from jail on a Saturday December 5th and went to stay with my husband and his grandmother out in the middle of nowhere, it wasn't the best situation because my husband was still using and I had to deal him lying and telling me that he was clean, and I had to deal with the jealousy I had towards him because he was still able to use and not have criminal consequences. I still wanted to get high, even though I wanted a different life. That's the mind of an addict. But I stayed strong while I searched for a solution. Then I got the call from the Serenity House, Monday December 7th,we set up an interview December 14th and I moved in December 21st. My prayers were once again heard and answered.  I started my life there like I had just been born...because I was, I had been made new, I had been given New eyes and a New life. I struggled with letting go of people in my life that had been there for years, but I had too. I knew that if I tried to stay clean around the same people who I used with I was going to end up right back at the bottom of that grave. And that is where the real journey began...in a sober living house in the middle of downtown.Thats where God let me start over.
 Join me for more of my story next time :) May God Bless you and Keep you....